severely inspired

sitting in between classes....waiting

i love to search the internet for things that make my eyes widen

things that can emotionally pull at my strings

things that make me excited about life

so i was just surfing for coastal and beach cottage inspiration for our living room in my house next year

i am so anxious about moving in and decorating a new space i cant stand it

unfortunately for me, i cant move in until july, and it is december....

so i will put all my excitement towards something else for now, maybe revamp my shabby chic bedroom before the cat comes home to destroy its splendor.

time for class, your beautiful!

i believe

im not one to think it is ever appropriate to push religion on someone

it even makes me uncomfortable sometimes when christians talk to other christians about being christians in public places

i guess because i believe that "religion" is constructed merely in the mind of the beholder and that no two people obviously share every opinion and have the same strong relationship with their creator

but since i am in my own world at this very moment i can talk about who my creator is and not feel like im imposing on anyone

and without being a normal ignorant religious person i am not going to sit here and instill my views onto my fellow readers who find themselves upon my page wondering why i haven't gotten anywhere interesting in this rant.

but i will say, that i love christian music all the way up. when i am in my car, it is my time with my God and my space where i can think and be with the head honcho with no distractions (minus the other drivers and the pavement i am traveling 60 miles an hour on)

when it is just me, and my God is talking to my heart i feel like im under that blanket from harry potter, where no one can see me but i can see them, and i am completely covered by something where no other thoughts or hackers  can get it, and i like that.


afterthought- the world is a beautiful world, and with out culture, religion, and difference; how colorful would everything really be? so heres a shout out to all the single minded people out there, you are enjoying your black and white because you are just too afraid to buy a clue, and when you do, welcome to the world of life, in HD.

s t u c k

i dwell on the passing of my good friends father.
like i cant think about anything else because i know how unfair it is. i hate everything about the situation knowing that not i or anyone had any control over it.

i find myself upset and confused and beside myself with grief as if i lost my own father.

i just cant imagine the aching her body must go through on a day to day basis.

and i hate that the most about the situation, is that of all people, they are the most undeserving.

i cringe when people say "they hate their dad" or when they yell at their father, at least you have one.

its like im going through the motions that she is going through. im almost happy with it, hoping that God in some way divided the pain up and passed it out to her closest friends, knowing full well how undeserving she is.

i feel more at peace that we are raising so much money and awareness for him. i actually love it. like i can actually have control over some of the situation.

you are a gorgeous girl mackenzie bucher, inside and out. thank you for teaching me grace like no one else could.

happy veterans day!

so lucky to be apart of this great nation, and to know so many amazing veterans. love you all very much.

CDR Donald Ray Briggs (Grandpa)- i wish you were here every day. not only so you could have seen Sean and I in our Navy uniforms, but so that my daddy wouldnt feel so alone all the time. I wish you could have stayed longer, and been with me, when i needed your wise words the most. I cant even imagine how many lives you touched when you served our great nation, but i love you for it. Its an honor to carry your last name. I love you. Tell Grandma Briggs i said hi, and thank her for visiting me in my dream a few nights ago. God Bless.

life is only as hard as you make it

there is a million things i wish i could say right now but i dont even know where to start.

with no outlet to complain or vent to in fear of "giving someone a headache"

im even afraid to tell this text box how i feel, knowing it will come back to me somehow.

even though we dont talk anymore, i still love you

its hard to lose someone who once meant so much to you.
the person you can just pick up the phone and call, even if you had nothing to say.
you could say i love you as a conversation filler for the silences that have never been awkward.

losing friends and loved ones is definitely something really difficult that all humans have to go through, and unfortunately more than once.

its even worse when they can walk right past you, and not say anything at all. when at one point in your life you were convinced you were going to spend the rest of your life in the eyes of that person.

weird isnt it? but we win some we lose some, and the ones we lose, we just have to feel sympathy for. that they are out of someones life who deeply cares for them. everyone takes that kind of passion for granted. and the brave ones will come back one day, some day, when reality hits and no one cares as much as you always did.

the worst is always wondering what you did wrong, or could have done differently, and torturing yourself over that. but its never your fault, so dont put that on yourself. just be you.

the pain you go through only makes your skin tougher and your heart stronger, and its those people who never give up, and finally break down your icey walls to find what an incredible person you are, and those are the ones to keep.

keep your head up and stay amazing, dont lose yourself to the grounds of someone in a worse place then you. just keep an open mind and an open heart, and no matter what, always be their to pick up the pieces when they need it the most. you would be surprised, karma can be a bitch but that doesnt mean you have to be.

afterthought: we are all human and we only live once. so live for others, holding a grudge only make you as filthy as the one who wronged you.

only when the sun is shining

the sun is beaming through the window on my cold hands and warming my face.

mountains are rolling out the window and the leaves of God's Virginia Tech pride dance around on the ground in the november wind.

phil wickham plays dimly in my ears as my constant moving legs shake back and forth to his guitar strums.

 im thinking about my blue and gold family out there living their new lives no longer in the arms of the lchs walls.

im excited for the future and fortunate for the past

                                                                     and im so happy

He planned it, so your path crossed mine

there are people that you can obtain in your life who do nothing but inspire you. the way they talk, act, move, walk, and laugh can make every ounce of you just feel good. if you dont have atleast one of those people in your life, go find one. they are more than willing to have as gorgeous of a person as you are in their life as well. arent people beautiful? honestly. we as humans are so quick to judge someone by their appearance, how shallow are we? why is that our first instinct...to judge someone by what two of our eyes see. we may never find out what our heart sees.

i could be sitting next to my future husband right now i would never know it, probably because the guy on my left plays world of warcraft more then he sleeps. and the one on my right probably gets high so he can function for the day. but who am i to say that? im just being a brat. i bet they are two amazing people, i bet one is so dedicated to God that he is living the most amazing life thanks to his devotion to his creator and doesnt care what i think of him. wouldnt that be inspiring. and me being who i am, i am going to give him the benefit of the doubt.

and its the people that you judge that you need to pray for the most....

im just a cliche blonde girl in the library of a community college while all of my friends are out there, being successful and fantastic as they always have been. i wonder how people judge me too.

afterthought: the guy that walked past you today, lost his mother yesterday, and his father is an alcoholic. he is going to college because he wants to make something of himself and make his mother proud. but he just held the door for you and smiled at you. its people like that who beam Gods love. embrace everyone for their differences. You are gorgeous.

procrastinators unite!! .....tomorrow

massive research paper due in a few hours and i havent even started yet, isnt college life the best?

you cant wait to grow up and then you get here, and wonder why you ever wanted to leave being a kid.

its hard knowing my friends are all over the east coast, and not just a trip down the street. i feel like the people that you grow up with make you exactly who you are. fortunately we are all going through this together.

i just signed a lease for a new house for next year, i am too excited. so excited that i have been on websites designing the house in my head rather then doing my paper. i dont even move in for another 9 months...haha

laptop battery is dying, what will i do with my traveling mind.

afterthought- love everyone you meet, for they are fighting a harder battle