Thursday, August 18, 2011

sunrise


since i have just come to the realization that i start school on monday.....what?

i figured to come back and starting writing here again

my time

my space.

i woke up around 6am this morning, jumping ten feet out of my skin
thinking that i had work
that i was late
and unfortunately on the starbucks schedule
when i could actually sleep in today

i am leaving soon
to go back to radford
and i have about 150 emotions towards it

a mixture of being ready
and being scared stiff
but i just have to put one foot in front of the other

i woke up this morning and went on stumbleupon.com
because i am obssessed 

and this was one of the videos it had started playing for me
and ill be honest a i pretty emotional
and my heart aches for a lot of people
but i just laid here and sobbed uncontrollably

it was such a gorgeous and unexpected message
screaming with thousands of meanings
and thousands of life lessons
and i sobbed.

brilliant.
absolutely brilliant.

human compassion and physical ailments
bring me to my knees
every time.


life is so gorgeous. one foot in front of the other.
God bless

and He does :) xo

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

"letters ill never send"

YOU.

You. Yes, you. I am writing this for you.
I know you are reading this. 
And I want you to know I am writing this for you. 
No one else will understand. 
No one else knows. 
They think that this is for them. 
But it’s not. 
am writing this for you.
I want you to know, life…it’s hard. 
Every day can be a challenge. 
It can be a challenge to get up in the morning. 
To get yourself out of bed. 
To put on that smile. 
But I want you to know, 
that smile is what keeps me going some days. 
You need to remember, 
even through the tough times, 
you are amazing. You really are.
You should be happy. 
You are gorgeous.
I know that the weather might not be perfect. 
You might have to turn your back to the 
wind or feel the cold nipping at your nose. 
But you know what, at least you 
are there to feel it. 
At least you can enjoy the sun’s 
warm rays on your face. 
Or that cold February wind 
biting at your cheeks. 
You know what that means?
You are alive.
Everything will be okay.
~ Letters I'll Never Send ~

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

well said Bob, well said.

               
  You may not be her first, her last, or her only.
    She loved before she may love again.

    But if she loves you now, what else matters?
   She's not perfect, you aren't either,
       and the two of you may never be perfect together
        but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice,
        and admit to being human and making mistakes, 
          hold onto her and give her the most you can.
        She may not be thinking about you
          every second of the day, but she will give you a part of
     her that she knows you can break her heart.
          So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze  
        and don't expect more than she can give.
            Smile when she makes you happy, 
          let her know when she makes you mad,
          and miss her when she's not there. 
                                                                                                   -Bob Marley 

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

makes me think

gosh. do we live in 
a gorgeous world
or what? 

i was just reading through a website called makes me think
and literally everything that is posted makes me think, or gives me chills
or makes my heart explode at how incredible our world can be

and seriously this world is not all bad
we only hear about the bad stuff
but gosh there is so many immaculate things going on
and things that people do that fly right under the radar
and people are SOOO awesome 
i love it 

this one really struck me


:) if my brain wasnt so spun around the amount of work 
i should be doing, i would weep over such a beautiful story.

gosh i love people. 

how empowering would that have been to see that?
i mean honestly? 
one of my favorite things about men
is when they are completely comfortable with their sexuality
and can act on it, either by holding hands with their partner
or being straight and holding hands with another man to prove a point
without the fear of judgement or opinions
and to be able to open their heart to others being mistreated

how moving. 
this is brilliant too. 


:) its people like that, that you just want to hug.
and thank them for being incredible.
but its unfortunate that acting like a human
should be praised 
but its just hard to find these days i guess. 

well i love you, dont forget it. God loves you more, never forget it. 
hang in there, go be beautiful. 
the world is counting on you :) 

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

r e a d y

oh hello gorgeous. 
ready?

i am so ready
i feel like i am about to crawl out of my skin!

i was excited enough to see that the  sun was still out at 8pm
i am ready for new people, new scenery, and a new mindset

i am on the long road to recovery
i am walking slowly but surely
and i have faith that God is walking with me

becoming an adult has brought so much reality to me
and so many things that i have needed to hear

i am learning to just grab life by the horns
and run with it
instead of running away and hiding from bullshit

it was in my reality check that i realized 
i had less spine than a jelly fish

i am so ready for the beach, and summer
sun on my skin and sand on my feet
and the ocean crashing in my  ears

i am so ready

thank you reader
for following me on this journey

i am sorry i havent been much of a happy inspiration to you lately
but all good things come with time

and i cannot wait to finally be a good thing. 

you are beautiful. God loves you. have faith. never lose hope. 

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

amazing


different things will come to you when you most need it, to rock your world or give you a new perspective, and i thoroughly enjoyed this one.


The Egg
By: Andy Weir

You were on your way home when you died.
It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. 
Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And that’s when you met me.
“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”
“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”

“Yup,” I said.
“I… I died?”
“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”
“More or less,” I said.
“Are you god?” You asked.
“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”
“My kids… my wife,” you said.

“What about them?”
“Will they be all right?”
“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”
You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”
“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”

“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”
“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”
“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”
You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”
“Nowhere in particular,” I said. 
“It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”

“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”

“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”

I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.

“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”
“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”

“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”
“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”

“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”
“Where you come from?” You said.
“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”
“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”
“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”
“So what’s the point of it all?”

“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”
“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.

I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”
“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”
“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”

“Just me? What about everyone else?”
“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”

You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”
“All you. Different incarnations of you.”
“Wait. I’m everyone!?”
“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
“I’m every human being who ever lived?”
“Or who will ever live, yes.”

“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”
“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.
“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.
“And you’re the millions he killed.”
“I’m Jesus?”

“And you’re everyone who followed him.”
You fell silent.

“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”

You thought for a long time.
“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”
“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”

“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”
“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”

“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”
“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”

And I sent you on your way.

10 commandments to live by

I.  I am not perfect and I will not try to be.

Think of how many things don’t get done in this world simply because people are waiting for the perfect time, place and circumstance.
The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists.  It rewards people who get things done.  And the only way to get things done is to be imperfect 99% of the time. 

ll.  I cannot, and will not try, to please everyone.

No matter what you do or how you do it, there will always be people that disagree with what you’re doing.  That’s life.  So don’t try please everyone.  Simply do what I know is right.
And remember, it doesn’t matter how many people don’t get it, it matters how many people do.

III.  I will take part in something I believe in.

This could be anything.  Some people take an active role in their city council, some find refuge in religious faith, some join social clubs supporting causes they believe in and others find passion in their careers.  In each case the psychological outcome is the same.  They engage themselves in something they strongly believe in.  This engagement brings happiness and meaning into their lives.

IV.  I will prioritize my obligations and do important things first.

Set priorities for yourself and act accordingly.  It’s the only way to get things done.
It’s the only way to turn a dream into a reality.

V.  I will choose my friends wisely.

Your friends are family you choose.  So make sure you choose friends who are worthy of your time and attention.
Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be.  Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it.

VI.  I will help others when I am able.

In life, you get what you put in.
When you make a positive impact in someone else’s life, you also make a positive impact in your own life.  The more you help others, the more they will want to help you.

VII.  I will focus on the positive.

Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  The mind must believe it can do something before it is capable of actually doing it.
The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful.  Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones.  Regardless of how a situation seems, focus on the next positive step forward.

VIII.  I can only be me.

Judy Garland once said, “Always be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate version of somebody else.”  Live by this statement.
There is no such thing as living in someone else’s shoes.  The only shoes you can occupy are your own.  If you aren’t being yourself, you aren’t truly living – you’re merely existing.  And ask yourself this:  If you don’t like who you really are, why should I like you?
Trying to be somebody you’re not is not sexy.  Be you.  That’s when you’re beautiful.

IX.  I will be here now.

Life is happening right now.  Instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, practice being and living in the present moment.
Remember, right now is the only moment guaranteed to you.  Right now is life.  Don’t miss it.

X.  Life never gets any better, only my perception of it does.

The world around you changes when you change.
If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.  The opposite is also true.  The choice is yours to make.

by: Marc